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That's fine but if you really believe you only have one soul mate, you are probably going to miss out on many opportunities for intimacy and personal fulfillment. Although the term soulmate can mean different things to different people, I am of the opinion that for most of us, we have multiple soulmates. People with whom we share enough common belief and conviction that our souls are mated by our faith and love.
Many people make the mistake of seeking out a mate before they take the crucial step of knowing themselves. If I were to guess, the one main reason people's relationships fail is that they fail to get to know themselves first. Consider how difficult it will be to reveal personal intimate knowledge of oneself if you are not even sure who you are. Don't try to find intimacy until you are prepared to give it. In other words, until you know yourself well enough to accurately describe who you are in plain and simple terms, you can't really expect to share intimacy with another.
Know yourself, your limitations, your weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, what you can tolerate and what you can't first. Then when you meet potential partners, you will have no trouble helping them to know you and you will be able to get to know them as well.
Intimacy Is A Shared Experience
True intimacy is based entirely on honesty, forthrightness, and sharing. Unless you are willing to risk being hurt and revealing yourself to another you are not ready to share intimacy. And intimacy is a shared experience. It is the experience and process of knowing and being known by another. Sounds like it takes some effort right? Well it does.
It takes a personal commitment to being honest about how you feel and what you think, even if people don't always understand it completely. It also takes a similar commitment from your significant other. Unless both partners are committed to complete honesty and forthrightness about feelings, thoughts, experiences, perceptions, and beliefs, intimacy cannot grow into a mature understanding and knowledge.
So many people find themselves hurt in relationships when they feel as if they have given everything they could and it still does not result in the closeness and intimacy they desire. Sometimes, its not even their fault entirely. Sometimes they choose to give everything but their true self, trying so hard to please the other person but not really expressing themselves honestly. Sometimes, they choose to give intimacy to someone who is not capable or desirous of giving it back on the same level. Needless to say, such a one way commitment is not going to result in the closeness and intimacy they desire, but it is not necessarily their fault.
Persistence and Practice Do Pay Off
So you have had your heart broken? You have given all you have and it still fell apart. Don't be discouraged. Don't make the mistake so many people make and retreat into a shell. Don't tell yourself, "that is it, I am never going to try again". That is the worst mistake anyone can make when they are pursuing personal fulfilment and intimacy.
Consider how impossible it will become to actually meet someone and share intimacy with them if you have previously decided that you will never again take the chance. It is my belief that sometimes people get hurt when they are young and close themselves off to intimacy trying to protect their feelings and then actually forget that they made this decision.
Then as the years pass and they find themselves alone, they wonder why. Despite the fact that at some point in their past they decided to close themselves off. Sound familiar? Well, the good news is that it is never to late to try again. But not with the same attitude obviously. If you want true intimacy you will take another chance and another until you find what you want.
Hopefully, this time you will take a little time to find out who you are and how best to communicate this. Then make the personal commitment to always be honest about what you need, what you want, and to comunicate this openly without games or riddles.
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